Monday, January 17, 2011

Born Again

For a long time, I never really knew exactly what to say whenever I was asked to share my testimony of how I came to be a Christian.

I used to wish that I had a stirring, powerful story of how I became saved. I used to wish I had some sort of dramatic story that would move audiences to tears. I used to wish I had an epic life filled with abominable sorrows and glorious victories that were beyond human description. I used to wish that the story of my life could be a story that would save lives.  You know the spiel. I wish could give you a tragic, emotional tale of how I neglected to trip a thief while he was running from the cops, only to come home later and discover that my uncle had been murdered by a burglar who turned out to be the same thief I could have stopped earlier, and then that’s how I learned the hard lesson that with great power there must also come great responsibility. But I can’t tell you that story. I’m not Peter Parker. I’m not Spider-Man. I can’t stand up here and tell you that I’m the sole survivor of a dying planet and now I can leap tall buildings in a single bound. I’m not Superman. I’m not the apostle Paul. I didn’t fall off my horse on the road to Damascus or anything like that.

The truth is, how I came to the faith is not a dramatic story.

I used to worry about this a lot. Seems like most Christians can point to the specific moment they were saved. I knew a guy who was like, “Yeah, I was listening to a Petra album on cassette back in 1987 and that’s when something just clicked and I accepted Christ.” I knew another dude who had a rough, tumultuous upbringing, whose family was basically destroyed because of the L.A. riots in the early ‘90s, who had some exposure to the gospel but didn’t truly come to a saving faith until he was in college. I mean, that’s TNT right there, you know, We Know Drama.

For me, I can’t even put a date on when I became a Christian, to be honest with you. The best I can give you is an approximate, give or take a year or two.

My background is that I grew up here, in San Francisco, and my parents took me to church throughout my childhood. They also enrolled me in a Christian school, West Portal Lutheran, and I went there from kindergarten to eighth grade. I had plenty of exposure to the Bible and to the gospel as I was growing up, what with going to Sunday school and having regular religion classes at normal school. I learned a lot about the Bible back then. I still remember, even in kindergarten, having to memorize the 23rd Psalm. (Don’t ask me to recite it now, though, ‘cause I probably can’t.)

Growing up in a Christian environment, I kind of took it for granted that the stuff I was learning was fact. Facts like how God created us, and how we are sinners and need to repent from our sins by believing in and accepting Jesus Christ’s death and resurrection. I bet if we had a time machine and traveled back in time and talked to 1991 Dru, he would say he’s a Christian. But I don’t think I really thought to examine what a saving faith truly means until probably somewhere in my middle school years.

By then, I think my mind and awareness had developed to the point where I could understand and accept that I am a sinner and only Jesus Christ can save me and lead me to heaven. Ever since then, my life has been a process of spiritual growth. Maybe there are some ups and downs in there but ultimately I can say that God continually draws me closer to Him.

I went to a public high school, and it was during those years that I started to more fully grasp and appreciate this gift of salvation God gave me. One of my childhood friends brought me out here, to this church, SFBC, to LIFE Fellowship. I still went to my parents’ church on Sundays, but as there weren’t really people my age there, Friday nights at LIFE were something of a revelation to me. I started to see what it looked like to live in faith everyday, and it was refreshing to be around kids my age who also wanted to learn more about God and the Bible, and to be around adults who wanted to see me grow.

When I went off to college, I was involved in a couple of campus ministries that gave me opportunities to grow some more in my walk with God. I made lasting friendships with other believers, learned what it meant to hold each other accountable before God, and how to share my faith with others. I spent time serving with and even leading other college students. All these different activities taught me how to see God is active in my life. Even during the many times when I served with a stubborn or prideful heart, God still found ways to remind me that my story wasn’t about me, but about Him.

After college I moved back home and though I endured a period of time when my spiritual walk wasn’t too great, God still provided me grace. I still had a couple of close friends at SFBC and they brought me back out here to ETC.

I had a non-Christian friend back in high school who would always tell me, “The only reason you’re a Christian is because you grew up with it.” He insisted that to me whenever I would try to share my faith with him or press him to make a decision for Christ. That actually got me thinking, though. I’d wonder, privately, if what he said was true. I wondered if I would be a Christian if my parents didn’t take me to church or enroll me in a Christian school. I wondered if the fact that they did somehow lessened the importance of my status as a believer.

I wrestled with this question deeply and I answered it (or should I say God answered it) to my satisfaction. 2 Peter 1:10-11 says:
 10 Therefore, my brothers and sisters, make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble, 11 and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Maybe to that friend of mine in high school, my faith would have seemed more legit and I’d have more street cred if I didn’t grow up surrounded by Christian influences. But to me, everything that happened to me is a blessing because the end result is that it all pointed me to Christ. The way I see it, yeah, I really can’t change the fact that I grew up surrounded by various Christian influences and people, and with so many opportunities to repent from my sins and turn to Christ. But you know what? That’s a blessing. To me, that’s a blessing that I don’t deserve.

All that stuff I was saying earlier about how I wished I had some fanciful, amazing, dramatic story about my moment of conversion? It’s only my own selfish pride that wishes I could impress you all with my “glorious” testimony.

The thing is, everyday I know how blessed I am that I’m saved at all. I know God chose me to be an heir of Christ, and nothing I ever did deserved that calling. I know this. I think if you think on this fact for any decent length of time, you can’t help but feel a stirring in your heart. When I sit around and really take the time to ponder about what it means that God has called me to Him, it truly is like I am being born again daily.

My testimony isn’t about the great things I have done for the Lord. It’s about the great things the Lord has done for me and continues to do. I know that I’ve done a lot of stupid stuff and probably said a lot of even stupider stuff. I am so obviously a man in need of a Savior. It’s so tempting to think that I’m a Christian because I decided to be one when the truth is that God graciously chose me. And that’s the main thing I wanted to say, is just to tell you that I have been saved, I am saved now, and that I’m up here because I want to show my commitment to the people of this church.

4 comments:

Tiffany said...

If this were a fb post, I'd LIKE it. Thanks for sharing tanman.

Chris said...

Thanks for sharing Dru. Did you share this with your church?

EricL said...

Thanks for sharing. I myself also don't have a dramatic backstory or anything.

Anonymous said...

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