Top 5 Punks in the NBA: The Dru Addendum

This is my take on Chris' recent topic on NBA punks. (Come on, dude - Rip Hamilton? How's that guy in the top five of your list?)


5. Bill Laimbeer
Yeah, I know he's retired. What's he doing now? Coaching and winning championships for a WNBA team? He's washed up. The reason he makes my list, though, is because there was never a person I ever hated in basketball more than Bill Laimbeer. Not even Dennis Rodman! I think I hate Bill Laimbeer more than Kobe Bryant. (Someone should remake Bill Laimbeer's Combat Basketball and toss in modern players.) Bill Laimbeer and the Bad Boys were in their prime when I first started watching basketball back in like '89. And then the early '90s... Man, I hated Bill Laimbeer and the Bad Boys for all the dirtiness they played on Michael before he finally won. Plus, Bill Laimbeer used to always get into these fights with guys I liked, especially Barkley. I think watching those Bill Laimbeer vs. Barkley fights really helped my young, formative mind to quickly grasp the concept of good vs. evil.


4a. Joakim Noah
Yeah, pretty much all the reasons my fellow Tan pointed out in his post. Noah's a giant rat-fink. He reminds me of a taller Tyronn Lue, another guy I don't like and who would likely have made my T-Mobile Least Fave Five if I were writing this back in 2002.

4b. Bonzi Wells, Jason Williams (White Chocolate), James Posey
Sorry to cheat so much on this list, but I feel like I have to point out that I still don't like these guys. They were all on the last good Memphis Grizzlies team but their horrible attitudes made me lose respect for them. To tell the truth, I never liked Bonzi even when he was a Blazer. His antics never made me smile like Rasheed's did. And Jason Williams was always a dickhead for that time when the Kings came to Oakland and he commented on the Bay Area's Asian population by musing, "Didn't we kill all those chinks back in 'Nam? [insert fratboy machine gun sound effects]" James Posey, well, I don't know if he's really a jerk or not, but I'll just lump him into this group regardless. (Now that I think about it, he did give Monta a cheap shot a couple years ago. That's a good enough reason.)

The nail in the coffin for these guys is how they made their Hall of Fame coach retire (undisclosed "health reasons." In other words, those three guys were making him sick.) from coaching just by being jerks. Hubie Brown was trying to do something good with this team and then he had to deal with all these lousy attitudes. And now Hubie is probably one of the top two or three color commentators out there. You can actually learn about the game of basketball from listening to him talk. And he comes off as such a gentleman that I have zero respect for Bonzi, Williams, and Posey... Even though Hubie himself is such a gentleman that even when he commentates their games, he always says something positive about them.


3. Nate Robinson
I don't like this kid. First of all, he's a stinking cocky person. There's something annoying about his swagger on the court. He must feel like he has something to prove to everybody just because he's short. (I knew a kid like that in high school and one time I almost kicked his ass, but he got scared and backed off.) Winning the dunk contest is nice, but it's not like he even deserved to win... That was Iggyhop's trophy all the way and the only reason Robinson won was 'cause he's shorter. It sure wasn't because it took him like 17 tries to make a dunk.

And you know what else, Robinson's attitude is terrible. Larry Brown was his coach when he was a rookie and I remember reading interviews where Robinson was criticizing Brown as their season was heading down the drain. That's beyond absurd to me. I have no respect for a player who doesn't respect one of the greatest coaches of all time, especially when the coach is HIS coach (and he's a rookie). That's one of the reasons why I have no sympathy for the Knicks. Yes, yes, I heart FDNY and all that... But the Knicks? They deserve everything they've got right now, and I hope they remain bottom feeders at least as long as the Niners and Raiders have been crap.

Also, Robinson's role in that Knicks/Nuggets brawl a couple years back completely demolished any last vestiges of indifference for him. People criticize Melo for sucker-punching Mardy Collins and then backing off. Take it from a guy who's been sucker-punched a few times in his life: Mardy Collins had it coming. And Robinson definitely helped escalate things to the point where Melo had to unleash the fury. What a little instigator.


2. Isiah Thomas
I liked him when he was a player. Even though I hated the Bad Boys, I still liked Zeke, Joe Dumars, and John Salley. Now, I am kind of indifferent to John Salley and The Man Show (or whatever Spike TV show he was on). I still like Joe Dumars. But the Knicks are a joke and Isiah's the punchline.

We know he was the one who really started that Knicks/Nuggets fight. He made a little-used rookie go in and commit a hard foul. Come on now. If you're a rookie in the NBA and fighting for every second of playing time, and your coach tells you to go in to hurt the other team, what are you gonna do? Some people with self-respect and dignity might refuse to play dirty, but can you really blame a stupid person for obeying orders?

George Karl doesn't like Isiah, either, so I know I'm not alone.

Oh yeah, and the sexual harassment thing. And the terrible personnel moves as GM and the bad coaching. You gotta love it whenever Bill Simmons the Sports Guy writes about the "Isiah Face," man! Zeke: just another reason why I ain't feel any sympathy for the Knicks or their fans.


1. Bruce Bowen
Come on, is there even any question here? I am just shocked he didn't even crack Chris Tan's list. I don't have much, if any, love for Harpring or Fortson but Bowen tops them. He's constantly labeled by other players as the dirtiest player in the entire Association, and I am inclined to believe them. Just go to YouTube or something and do a search for "bruce bowen dirty" and see what you get. Try to find the clip where Bowen jump-kicks Wally Szczerbiak (or some other random white dude) in the face. How many times, during the course of a single game, does Bowen pull some dirty cheap shot on opposing players? And it's not just cheap shots, but he does stuff that can hurt or injure people. At least he's finally been suspended a game for his dirtiness. I could probably go off for a couple paragraphs on why else I hate Bowen, but I will assume that you already agree that he is a big fat punk. (Unless you're a Spurs fan.)

Ray Allen hates him, too. Good enough for me, if not a court of law.

My Top 5 Favorite Players in the NBA

1. Chris Paul (Strong-Willed) - This guy shares the same first name as me, or should I say I share the same first name as him? Anyhow, I like how he is representing all the Chris' with outstanding basketball play. Dang man, I just saw him rip the ball right from Deron Williams' pocket the other day. Incredible. He also has the ability to will his team to win, probably the most valuable trait any player can have.

2. Brandon Roy (Young Leader) - I had a friend who traveled to Oregon, and he caught a Trail Blazers game. What he simply told me was, "Brandon Roy is a baller." During my days at Davis, I tried to emulate Dwayne Wade's moves. Now, I want to emulate Roy's moves. Roy is sneaky good, without any weaknesses to his game. Even though he is only in his 2nd year in the NBA, his best ability is probably his leadership, as for awhile he was leading a young Portland Trail Blazers team (avg. age <25) into a possible playoff position in the deep Western Conference.

3. Tracy McGrady (Contagious Fun) - Dude, this guys jump shot is so beautiful and fluid. Can score in bunches, yet has a terrific knack for setting up his teammates for easy shots. When I watch McGrady play, it makes me smile, because it looks like he is having so much fun out there. Thats what I like about McGrady, an all-star player who enjoys playing the game and isn't afraid to show it by smiling on the court. I think this helps keep his teammates loose too, helping them play their best.

4. Manu Ginobili (Reckless Winner) - The guy flails his body on offense and defense. He is a gritty player, and I think its great when he runs into the lane and throws up a crazy shot that goes in. Reminds me of when I recklessly drive in, only I turn it over or throw up an ugly brick. I won't forget the Finals when Ginobili ate the Pistons alive with some nasty dunks. Ginobili is a winner wherever he has gone, with Argentina and with the Spurs.

5. Peja Stojakovic (Assassin of Opponent's Hope) - There will always be a soft spot in my heart for Peja. During his time with the Kings, he was my favorite player. Every time the guy misses a shot, something just doesn't seem right. Once the ball leaves his hand, I think its going in. I think opposing teams have that same thought as well. Peja always seems up to the task with hitting a 3 in the 4th quarter that completely deflates the opponent's will while elevating his own team's morale. Predrag Stojakovic. Someone should name their son or daughter Predrag.