Today's true story:
This morning, I went out for a jog in my neighborhood. Not training to compete in any races or anything. Just trying not to be completely sedentary.
As I was jogging, I passed by this one house. An older woman, carrying a grocery bag full of stuff, was walking down the stairs with an elderly lady with a cane, presumably the first woman's mother. Maybe I was jogging at a slow pace, but I caught a snippet of their dialogue. The daughter wanted to help her mother walk down the stairs. The mother kind of brushed her off and wanted to walk down herself. I could see the daughter trying to hold her mother's arm to gently give her some added stability, but one of her arms was full because of the grocery bag.
After I ran past them, I wondered whether I should have offered to help or something. I could have carried the groceries, maybe, or helped the really old lady. In my mind, I explored the various scenarios. What if I carried the groceries and watched the daughter help her mom walk down some stairs? What if I gave the old lady my arm to hold on to as she made her way down? What if I tripped and accidentally pushed them both to their doom? The closest police station was only a couple blocks away.
Then this got me thinking further. Is it even socially acceptable, in this day and age, to offer unsolicited aid to strangers? What would they think if some sweaty, hairy, wild-looking Asian guy who doesn't know how to shave tried to impose his will on them? Would they be appreciative? Would they say "No, thanks" and politely wish me to mind my own business? Or would they just think I'm a creep? What were the odds that both of them would turn out to be harridans and claw my eyes out?
Well, it was too late then and it's far too late now. By the time I finished analyzing things, I had already run well past them. Wouldn't it be weird and even more awkward if I went back and tried to talk to them? Or would they understand that I took some moments to ponder the situation? And even if I did go back, what would I say or do?
I ended up just going home. Maybe I should have asked if they needed a helping hand. It probably would have been the gentlemanly, neighborly thing to do. Another chance to do someone a kind deed - wasted. Because of all these thoughts. Meticulous imaginings of potential realities. Who knows what my life would be like if I spent less time trying to cover all the angles? I don't know. I just don't know. No. That's a lie. I can imagine it well enough. But fat lot of good that does me.
All I know is, I think too much. Except for the times when I don't think at all.
