Hoka Hey! (Today Is a Good Day to Die!)

As a perpetually single heterosexual male, I've spent inordinate amounts of time thinking about my friendships with other guys. I've often said that the difference between girls' friendships with each other and guys' friendships with other guys is that girls enjoy face-to-face relationships. They like to look at each other, talk to each other, and sympathize with each other. Guys ain't really about face-to-face friendships. We empathize, sure. But mainly, we do stuff. Sports, videogames, even sitting around and doing nothing - it doesn't really matter. We're side-by-side whether we ride or we die, 'cause we in the struggle together.

But that's not to say that we men all are insensitive brutes. Not all the time, at least. I like to believe I'm capable of experiencing the entire spectrum of emotions beyond simply anger and hunger. Yes... I'd like to believe that even my world-weary heart can still (occasionally) feel something akin to vulnerability and love.

Maybe one day I'll share my favorite love songs. Right now, that seems kind of pointless because I'm not in a loving mood. But no matter how lousy I feel, no matter how crappy my day, no matter how consumed I am with the unbearable lightness of being, a few words of encouragement from a beloved brother can bring comfort into my life. Hell, even a slap on the butt and a "I got your back" will usually suffice. Sometimes, that's all it takes to help me keep on truckin'.

And so, in honor of my brethren, I present to you my top five bromantic songs in alphabetical order.

Acquiesce by Oasis. I think it's amusing that this song was made by two brothers who have repeatedly feuded in public over the years, not just verbally, but to the point where they've exchanged fisticuffs. Oasis broke up a while ago, after the Gallagher brothers had another fight, but I look forward to the day when they reunite and play this song at their first concert together. Acquiesce is a simple song about trusting in one another's friendship. It's a general song about friendship but there's an earnestness in the simplicity of it all that makes it so efficient.

Crash and Burn by Savage Garden. If I were ranking my favorite bromantic songs in numerical order, this would be number one. It's a song about being there for your friend even when things are at their lowest point. It's about acknowledging that life is tough, but wanting to be someone your buddy can rely on. It's a potent reminder that "there has always been heartache and pain / but when it's over you'll breathe again." Yes, I am well aware of the fact that Darren Hayes, the lyricist, is gay.

I Still Remember by Bloc Party. In all honesty, this song very likely crosses the (admittedly thin) line between "Bromantic Song" and "Homoerotic Rock Anthem." Nonetheless, it's a song about the unspeakable closeness between two friends (who both happen to be dudes). Look up this song on The One True Source of All Knowledge (Wikipedia) for Kele Okereke's explanation on the background of this song.

Let Me In by R.E.M. This is probably one of R.E.M.'s lesser-known album tracks, but any R.E.M. fan knows that the band wrote it in response to Kurt Cobain's suicide. I love the sound of this song, with the heavily distorted guitar, the plaintive organ, and Michael Stipe's falsetto. Lyrically, this song deals with Stipe wishing he had known Cobain's state of mind so he could have helped him. But I think the song's intent is universal as well; it's about recognizing how, at times, it can be awkward to show care for another, and how it can be hard to reach out to someone if he doesn't let you into the darkest places of his heart. That third verse is excellent.

Stuck in a Moment You Can't Get Out Of by U2. Like "Let Me In," this song was written for another dead rock star. (In this case, it was the lead singer of INXS.) Bono's lyrics are pretty much easy to decipher. A part of the song wrestles with the idea of Bono wishing he could have been there better for his friend, while I think the other key aspect of the song is about simple endurance through despair, and the affect that friendship can have in helping someone persevere. The final minute of the song, when The Edge chips in with his vocals, is probably one of the most encouraging bits of music I've ever heard.

There you have it. Those are my favorite bromantic songs (that I could think of at this particular moment). Hit me up if you know of any other good ones.

Aloof

"I think sometimes I miss out on good things by being too detached. Like if Obama walked through the door, I'd be like, 'All right, so what?' and finish eating my food. I never get too excited about things. I think sometimes if I could change that about myself, maybe I'd be in love, or not as alone. Maybe my life would be fuller or something."

- Kevin Durant

http://espn.go.com/nba/story/_/id/7122237/nba-kevin-durant-earns-title-lockout-mvp-thanks-viral-videos

I like Kevin Durant a whole lot. His game is so sweet and I love how, at postgame interviews, he buttons his collared shirt all the way to the top. I've been doing the same thing for a while now and it makes me feel like I'm not alone. It's vindication, of a sorts, to know that an NBA superstar does something ordinary and simple kinda like how I do it.

His demeanor in general just seems pretty chill.  I can relate to KD's sense of detachment. I feel like that a whole lot.

Heaven's Gravity Well

My favorite album of all time is Mezzamorphis by the British band Delirious?. I don't think many people know this. But now you know. And knowing is half the battle. (Usually whenever anyone asks me who my favorite band is, I respond with Radiohead.)

For a while, back when I was younger, I was quite a music elitist. If I had gone to more concerts regularly (and worn skintight jeans and flannel shirts), I  have would probably been classified as a hipster. Yeah. It was like that. I would check Pitchfork every day for the latest news and listen to all the bands that no one's ever heard of and feel proud about it. I was more concerned about my indie rock street cred than the actual music I was listening to.

Nowadays, I just listen to what I like. Or what I love. And I still love Radiohead. OK Computer, The Bends, Kid A - all three of them among the greatest albums of my generation. OK Computer, in particular, has always been an album that resonated with me. I could listen to that over and over without skipping any tracks.

I came across an insightful article the other day, about Radiohead, and why they matter, from a Christian's perspective. Here's the link:
http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tgc/2011/03/27/see-what-radiohead-sees/
I think it's a great read, especially if you are familiar with Radiohead's work. I found myself agreeing wholeheartedly with the writer's observations and reflections.


I also started thinking about "Christian" music and what kind of impact that area of music has had on me. There really aren't too many "Christian" bands or artists that I like. Other than a few worship albums here and there, I don't pay any attention to the world of Christian music. Call me cynical, but I just feel that Christian music is generally just a watered-down imitation of secular pop music trends, with embarrassing lyrics. It's a sonically decrepit landscape.

(I say all that with the full authority of a man who has absolutely no musical talent himself.  But, y'know what they say... Those who can't create always turn to the second best thing: we critique. Actually, I don't know who says that. I just made it up.)

Mezzamorphis, out of every piece of Christian music I've ever encountered, is the album I go back to time and time again. It probably is the "OK Computer" of Christian music.


Similar to OK Computer, Mezzamorphis isn't exactly a concept album, but its songs are tied to one another thematically, which makes the album as a whole stronger because it has a coherent message.


Also, I think Mezzamorphis is one of the best-produced albums in Christian music. It's definitely got its own sound. You can hear how Delirious? broke away from the U2 comparisons that accompanied their previous album. Sonically, Mezzamorphis is lush and rich, brimming with a subtle aural intricacy that tends to be missing from most Christian music. There's a nice, natural-sounding reverb to the drums. Their basslines pretty melodic, too. It's definitely a nice "headphones" album. I feel that even now, something like 11 or 12 years after this album first came out, I'm still discovering new sounds when I listen to it.


Mezzamorphis is about something I think about often, even if not consciously. It's about the daily struggle that any believer faces: the struggle between finding contentment in this worldly kingdom of comfort and finding solace in Christ, because our citizenship is in heaven.

The album opener, "The Mezzanine Floor", begins with some soft/loud, start/stop dynamics before settling into a simple but elegant, vibey groove. It's a song about being in this sort of intermediate stage of life, and knowing you have something better to look forward to in the future. As the album progresses, this longing becomes more and more clear and explicit, though there are still occasional hiccups that remind us that the flesh is weak.


Delirious? made their rep as a worship band. "I Could Sing of Your Love Forever" is probably their most famous song - it's a song more well-known than the people who created it. Mezzamorphis isn't a worship album, but there are still moments of intense worship to be found within it. The song "Follow" brilliantly keeps in line with the theme of heavenly citizenship while offering a pledge of worship to the Lord. The shimmering accompaniment gives it a really ethereal quality.


Other songs on Mezzamorphis, like "See The Star" and "Gravity", highlight the pursuit of Christ in a world where sinful idolatry threaten to derail us from the path God has called us to follow. Any Christian can relate to that... But it helps to have rocking tunes to back up the words. And what we really do to try and stay on that path of righteousness? Well, it helps to pray... Which is what the song "Love Falls Down" is all about. The album sequencing is very effective in portraying a realistic Christian life, with its ups and downs and the ultimate acknowledgement of our need for Jesus Christ to save us, and the knowledge that we can't make it to heaven on our own volition.


I love how the album's two closing songs finish things off with that story. "Blindfold" starts off as a sort of brokenhearted, dreary, desolate song about not doing such a great job of living for Christ. Then the narrator cries out to the Lord to remove the metaphorical blindfold, and eventually the song metamorphoses into a simple, but stirring, worship of God. The final song, "Kiss Your Feet", summarizes the narrator's realization that he knows he is not really trapped between two worlds. Heaven's gravity well, God's calling and election, is far more powerful and irresistible than the world. As a result, the narrator proudly proclaims his life's purpose: to glorify God with everything he has in this life.


(The U.S. edition of Mezzamorphis has two bonus tracks, which are a nice encore.)


The other day, on the radio, I heard an advertisement from Kaiser Permanente. They were saying how listening to music has some mental health benefits or something. I don't know if that's medically proven or anything, but it sure sounds nice.


Sometimes, when I feel downcast, I dig out Mezzamorphis and listen to this classic album. (Yeah, I still listen to CDs. I'm old-school like that. If only I had a vinyl player...) It's a reminder to me that this world is temporary. The God I worship, the God who mercifully extended salvation to sinful me, is eternal. The comfort I find in the things of this world are ultimately powerless. To think about how hard I often cling to my comforts, to think about how I can be consumed with sinfulness or even just things that have no eternal bearing - thoughts like that only shame me. I pray that God removes my manmade blindfold so I can recognize His majesty over me.


And I think of heaven's gravity well, tugging at my soul. I think of the love that was displayed to me when the Lamb laid down His life, only to rise again, so that I might have eternal spiritual life. Salvation. When I think of it long enough, hard enough, I'm moved to tears because I have no other adequate means to express my thanks and worship.

Happy Easter.

Prince Caspian: Brief Excerpt, Brief Scattered Thoughts

"Welcome, child," he said.

"Aslan," said Lucy, "you're bigger."

"That is because you are older, little one," answered he.

"Not because you are?"

"I am not. But every year you grow you will find me bigger."

Looking back to my childhood, I remember counter tops in my home being quite tall. I was small back then. Now I am approx. 5'10." Those same counter tops, I look down on. It is how life is, when you grow up, you grow bigger, and usually smarter if you aren't lazy and circumstances are right. Sure, when I was taking classes such as biochemistry I thought I would never figure out the material. But if you put enough time into, whether it be 1 hour or a lifetime's work, you can eventually figure things out. Sure, new discoveries are made every now and then that lay waste to previous facts. But generally, as time marches on in life, the complex becomes more simple, the big becomes smaller.

Here we have Lucy, who was once a little girl in "The Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe." She is a few years older. Yet when she sees Aslan once again, Aslan is bigger. She first believes that it is because Aslan may have also aged, just as she has aged. Aslan states otherwise. He is only bigger because she is bigger. He is still the same.

This same idea applies to God. As a Christian becomes more mature in Christ over time, the Christian will find that they do know God more, yet they discover that there is still so much more to learn about God. Imagine that I am still that same kid who would have to look up to the counter top, only to grow up and the counter top appears be as tall as a skyscraper! But alas, perhaps it was never a counter top to begin with. Reading that excerpt from "Prince Caspian" made me think of the end of the book of Job. If you haven't read it, you should. Job, an upstanding man, has nearly everything stripped away from him. He wonders why God has allowed these things to happen to him. BOOM! God encounter, Job is speechless. Check it out. I think I will again, after all, I still have much to learn.

Chronicles of Narnia - Pointing to Jesus Christ

Well, it has been quite some time since I last logged an entry here. Drew has encouraged me in the past to post entries in the blog, but I've never really had an inkling to write, besides the occasional entry in my own personal journal. However, reading the works of a writer such as C.S. Lewis has given me that extra oomph to write.

Now how did I begin to read C.S. Lewis' Chronicles of Narnia? I was listening to a sermon by Tim Keller, and he referenced an example from Tolkien's Lord of the Rings. His example fit in marvelously with his sermon message. Having only watched the movies, I decided I wanted to read Lord of the Rings and look carefully for Christian illustrations. So with a $25 gift card in hand, I took a stroll through Barnes and Noble. However, instead of finding Lord of the Rings, I came across a volume of The Chronicles of Narnia, with all seven books in one for a sweet deal of $20! I'm not usually a spontaneous buyer, so of course I didn't buy the book right then and there but instead bought it during my 30 minute dinner break from work. I got back to work with a fat grin on my face.

I must say, Chronicles of Narnia has far exceeded my expectations. The only book I've read of the series in the past was "The Horse and His Boy," and I have yet to see the movies (except for part of the old BBC "Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe"). Currently I am on the 6th book of the set, and I would like to share my thoughts on what I've read on this entry and future entries to whoever reads this blog, but of course in particular with brother Drew. If you have not read the series yet and intend on doing so, I advise you not to read from this point forward.

Book 1: The Magician's Nephew

In this book, Aslan (the Christ figure who is a lion) creates the world of Narnia. Obviously, this parallels God's creation of our world. However, this wasn't the main point of interest that caught my attention. What spurred my mind was one antagonistic event during Aslan's glorious work of creating Narnia:

"Suddenly the Witch stepped boldly out towards the Lion...She raised her arm and flung the iron bar straight at its head...It glanced off and fell with a thud in the grass. The Lion came on. Its walk was neither slower nor faster than before; you could not tell whether it even knew it had been hit...The witch shrieked and ran..."

This Witch was strong. Her great physical strength was shown in many events earlier in the book. However, the Lion went about his business like nothing even happened. What happened here? I'll tell you what happened: when a person with great strength attacks and their attack has been completely nullified, the one who was the target of the attack must not only be greater in strength, but must be immensely stronger than the attacker. The witch's response to this revelation is predictable; she fled immediately in fear of the repercussions of her initial attack.

Fast forward to the second book of the series, "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe." Aslan is killed on the Stone Table by the Witch. What had happened was Aslan sacrificed himself for Edmund, the son of Adam who had betrayed Aslan and should have been the one killed.

Now, we have a big difference in Aslan in these 2 different books. In book 1, he is Aslan the invincible. In book 2, he is Aslan the vulnerable.

Now, we have Jesus Christ. The pre-incarnate Christ is fully God. The incarnate Christ is fully God, yet fully man. Because of this "man" aspect Jesus Christ became vulnerable. When I was reading through "The Magician's Nephew" and this particular scene, this verse from Philippians came to mind:

"Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross." (2:5-8)

Just as Aslan was there during the beginning of Narnia, the pre-incarnate Jesus was there during the creation of our world. The Triune God (The Father, The Son, The Holy Spirit) created the heavens and the earth. To say Jesus had tremendous power would be an understatement. Yet what did Jesus do? The book of Philippians says he "did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped" and that he "emptied Himself," essentially laying aside His invincibility as God and becoming vulnerable when He became fully man. And why did He do it? So that we could become invulnerable to death. The death I am talking about here is not physical death, but something much worst. It is a death without the hope of life afterwards. It is a death with Hell looming. But alas, because of Christ we need not face such doom. Let's not forget that it wasn't simply a god who took our place on the cross, but it was the ALMIGHTY GOD who did so. Just as the iron bar simply glanced off Aslan's head and fell to the ground with no effect, so death has lost its sting on us because of the powerful work of Christ.

Born Again

For a long time, I never really knew exactly what to say whenever I was asked to share my testimony of how I came to be a Christian.

I used to wish that I had a stirring, powerful story of how I became saved. I used to wish I had some sort of dramatic story that would move audiences to tears. I used to wish I had an epic life filled with abominable sorrows and glorious victories that were beyond human description. I used to wish that the story of my life could be a story that would save lives.  You know the spiel. I wish could give you a tragic, emotional tale of how I neglected to trip a thief while he was running from the cops, only to come home later and discover that my uncle had been murdered by a burglar who turned out to be the same thief I could have stopped earlier, and then that’s how I learned the hard lesson that with great power there must also come great responsibility. But I can’t tell you that story. I’m not Peter Parker. I’m not Spider-Man. I can’t stand up here and tell you that I’m the sole survivor of a dying planet and now I can leap tall buildings in a single bound. I’m not Superman. I’m not the apostle Paul. I didn’t fall off my horse on the road to Damascus or anything like that.

The truth is, how I came to the faith is not a dramatic story.

I used to worry about this a lot. Seems like most Christians can point to the specific moment they were saved. I knew a guy who was like, “Yeah, I was listening to a Petra album on cassette back in 1987 and that’s when something just clicked and I accepted Christ.” I knew another dude who had a rough, tumultuous upbringing, whose family was basically destroyed because of the L.A. riots in the early ‘90s, who had some exposure to the gospel but didn’t truly come to a saving faith until he was in college. I mean, that’s TNT right there, you know, We Know Drama.

For me, I can’t even put a date on when I became a Christian, to be honest with you. The best I can give you is an approximate, give or take a year or two.

My background is that I grew up here, in San Francisco, and my parents took me to church throughout my childhood. They also enrolled me in a Christian school, West Portal Lutheran, and I went there from kindergarten to eighth grade. I had plenty of exposure to the Bible and to the gospel as I was growing up, what with going to Sunday school and having regular religion classes at normal school. I learned a lot about the Bible back then. I still remember, even in kindergarten, having to memorize the 23^rd Psalm. (Don’t ask me to recite it now, though, ‘cause I probably can’t.)

Growing up in a Christian environment, I kind of took it for granted that the stuff I was learning was fact. Facts like how God created us, and how we are sinners and need to repent from our sins by believing in and accepting Jesus Christ’s death and resurrection. I bet if we had a time machine and traveled back in time and talked to 1991 Dru, he would say he’s a Christian. But I don’t think I really thought to examine what a saving faith truly means until probably somewhere in my middle school years.

By then, I think my mind and awareness had developed to the point where I could understand and accept that I am a sinner and only Jesus Christ can save me and lead me to heaven. Ever since then, my life has been a process of spiritual growth. Maybe there are some ups and downs in there but ultimately I can say that God continually draws me closer to Him.

I went to a public high school, and it was during those years that I started to more fully grasp and appreciate this gift of salvation God gave me. One of my childhood friends brought me out here, to this church, SFBC, to LIFE Fellowship. I still went to my parents’ church on Sundays, but as there weren’t really people my age there, Friday nights at LIFE were something of a revelation to me. I started to see what it looked like to live in faith everyday, and it was refreshing to be around kids my age who also wanted to learn more about God and the Bible, and to be around adults who wanted to see me grow.

When I went off to college, I was involved in a couple of campus ministries that gave me opportunities to grow some more in my walk with God. I made lasting friendships with other believers, learned what it meant to hold each other accountable before God, and how to share my faith with others. I spent time serving with and even leading other college students. All these different activities taught me how to see God is active in my life. Even during the many times when I served with a stubborn or prideful heart, God still found ways to remind me that my story wasn’t about me, but about Him.

After college I moved back home and though I endured a period of time when my spiritual walk wasn’t too great, God still provided me grace. I still had a couple of close friends at SFBC and they brought me back out here to ETC.

I had a non-Christian friend back in high school who would always tell me, “The only reason you’re a Christian is because you grew up with it.” He insisted that to me whenever I would try to share my faith with him or press him to make a decision for Christ. That actually got me thinking, though. I’d wonder, privately, if what he said was true. I wondered if I would be a Christian if my parents didn’t take me to church or enroll me in a Christian school. I wondered if the fact that they did somehow lessened the importance of my status as a believer.

I wrestled with this question deeply and I answered it (or should I say God answered it) to my satisfaction. 2 Peter 1:10-11 says:

 ¹⁰ Therefore, my brothers and sisters, make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble, ¹¹ and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Maybe to that friend of mine in high school, my faith would have seemed more legit and I’d have more street cred if I didn’t grow up surrounded by Christian influences. But to me, everything that happened to me is a blessing because the end result is that it all pointed me to Christ. The way I see it, yeah, I really can’t change the fact that I grew up surrounded by various Christian influences and people, and with so many opportunities to repent from my sins and turn to Christ. But you know what? That’s a blessing. To me, that’s a blessing that I don’t deserve.

All that stuff I was saying earlier about how I wished I had some fanciful, amazing, dramatic story about my moment of conversion? It’s only my own selfish pride that wishes I could impress you all with my “glorious” testimony.

The thing is, everyday I know how blessed I am that I’m saved at all. I know God chose me to be an heir of Christ, and nothing I ever did deserved that calling. I know this. I think if you think on this fact for any decent length of time, you can’t help but feel a stirring in your heart. When I sit around and really take the time to ponder about what it means that God has called me to Him, it truly is like I am being born again daily.

My testimony isn’t about the great things I have done for the Lord. It’s about the great things the Lord has done for me and continues to do. I know that I’ve done a lot of stupid stuff and probably said a lot of even stupider stuff. I am so obviously a man in need of a Savior. It’s so tempting to think that I’m a Christian because I decided to be one when the truth is that God graciously chose me. And that’s the main thing I wanted to say, is just to tell you that I have been saved, I am saved now, and that I’m up here because I want to show my commitment to the people of this church.

...And I Don't Feel Any Different

So this is the new year
And I have no resolutions
For self-assigned penance
For problems with easy solutions